Picture this: Mariah has had a very long day. Her husband forgot to take out the trash (again), the kids are fighting over who gets the blue cup, and she feels like she is about to lose it. Can you relate?
But what if these challenging moments aren’t interruptions to your spiritual growth but opportunities for God to refine your heart? Here’s how your family, even in all the beautiful messy moments, can be God’s tools to help you become more like Him.
God Uses Our Husbands to Teach Us Humility and Grace
Marriage is like a mirror. In it, we often see our own flaws reflected back to us. The daily call to show grace, forgive, and serve can chip away at our pride and self-centeredness. We must choose to be obedient to God’s word and lay our lives down daily as we pick up our crosses with hearts to please God.
It can be tempting to refuse to apologize first after a disagreement. However, if you slow down and get quiet enough, you will sense the Holy Spirit nudging you to apologize and forgive. This is one way He uses to teach us humility.
You may find yourself tempted to put your needs before your husband’s. You may want to prioritize your comfort, desires, or preferences over his. If we’re honest, such a temptation stems from self-centeredness. The Holy Spirit will gently speak to your heart about looking out for the interest of others (Phil. 2:4). He may remind you that even Jesus came not to be served, but to serve others and we are to follow His lead. (Mark 10:43-45)
Have you ever thought about keeping a score or keeping a mental record of your husband’s mistakes? I think we all have at some point. However, when we do this or even expect recognition or compensation for our contributions, we act out of pride. The Holy Spirit is ready to teach us how to serve with a spirit of humility and love.
When we recognize these flaws in our hearts, should not feel condemned. Instead, we should recognize that we have all been born into sin which is why Jesus came. No one is perfect but Him. The Lord will cleanse us and shape us into the women He has called us to be. We are all a work in progress and He will complete His good work in us. (Phil 1:6) Be encouraged!
Practical Application: Practice active listening this week. When your husband shares something, respond respectfully and gently without interrupting, assuming, or rushing to fix the situation.
“Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.” – Ephesians 4:2
God Uses Our Children to Teach Us Patience and Dependence on Him
Parenting stretches our patience and forces us to rely on God for wisdom, strength, and endurance. We know when we are impatient and huffy with our children. The Holy Spirit will gently nudge us and remind us to respond with patience and love.
Each time our children have emotional outbursts, ask endless “why” questions, or call our names a million times we are given opportunities to grow in patience, get before the Lord in prayer, and learn to be dependent on Him.
Practical Application: Memorize Galatians 5:22-23 as a family and recite it together when frustrations arise. Ask the Holy Spirit to develop the fruit of the spirit in you and teach them to your children.
“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.” – Galatians 5:22-23
God Uses Our Family Life to Shape Our Character Through Servanthood & Stewardship
Serving our families daily mirrors Christ’s servant-hearted love. Folding laundry, wiping tears, and cooking meals become acts of worship when done with a heart of love.
Considering our husbands’ needs before our own, being intimate even though exhausted, picking up toys for the fourth time in a row, and waking up multiple times throughout the night to tend to our children are things we can do with all of our hearts as unto the Lord. (Col. 3:23) Our work and service is not in vain when we do it for God’s glory. He sees us and is pleased.
Practical Application: Start each morning with a prayer asking God to help you serve your family with patience, joy, and without resentment.
For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.” – Mark 10:45
Wrapping Up 3 Ways God Uses Our Husbands and Children to Shape Us Into Women After His Heart
As wives and mothers, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed by the constant demands of family life. But God, in His sovereignty, is using our husbands and children to shape us into women who reflect His heart. He molds and prunes us when we surrender to Him. Each challenge we face is an opportunity to grow in humility, patience, and Christlike servanthood. Embrace the refining process, knowing that God uses your everyday life to make you more like Him.