These two common habits can quietly damage a marriage. So whether you’re single and preparing for marriage or looking to improve your marriage, be sure to take some notes.

Mistake # 1 Lack of Marital Privacy

Marriage is a covenant between a man and his wife. There should be a level of discretion in marriage. Personal business between the married couple should remain private between the two who are in covenant.

Below are some examples of behaviors to avoid. These are examples of a lack of privacy within a marriage. 

Examples of a Lack of Privacy Within Marriage (AVOID THESE)

1. Oversharing marital conflicts: Avoid discussing marital disagreements with friends, family, or co-workers without your spouse’s consent, especially in a way that paints your partner negatively. 

2. Sharing intimate details: Avoid giving too many details about your intimate times with your husband. What goes on in the bedroom is not anyone else’s business. Sharing can make your spouse feel exposed or even disrespected.

3. Posting personal issues on social media: Avoid putting all of your business out on social media. People should not know everything that is happening in your home. Try to maintain a certain heir of discretion and privacy. Publicly airing disagreements and complaints about your husband on social media instead of addressing them privately within the marriage is a sign of disrespect toward your husband.

4. Allowing family interference: Work with your husband to keep in-laws or extended family from getting too involved in marital decisions, finances, parenting, or personal choices, without creating boundaries.

More Mistakes Wives Make to Avoid

5. Criticizing your spouse in public: Seek to do the opposite and praise your husband. Make him look like Superman in public and around friends and family. Don’t put him down or throw him under the bus. You won’t benefit from tearing down your own house. 

6. Sharing financial struggles: Avoid disclosing financial issues or disagreements with others.

7. Letting friends influence decisions: Avoid making marital decisions based on advice or pressure from friends, without first discussing it privately with your spouse. Also, don’t allow your friends to know your personal business between you and your husband. They should not come before your husband. Be sure not take ill advice from them.

8. Talking about your spouse’s weaknesses: Avoid sharing your spouse's vulnerabilities, failures, or embarrassing moments with others, even if you’re trying to be funny and make a joke of it.

Mistake # 2: Lack of Gratitude

Practice gratitude toward your husband. Thank him when he does kind things whether it’s cooking dinner, filling your tank with gas, or going to work each day to provide. Yes, those are everyday life responsibilities BUT there is no harm in expressing gratitude for both the big and small things. A heart of gratitude reaps rewards and benefits.

1. Taking the spouse’s efforts for granted: Avoid overlooking his everyday actions, like cooking, cleaning, or working, without acknowledging or appreciating the effort put in. Make it a point to acknowledge your husband’s efforts.

2. Rarely expressing thanks: Avoid not verbally saying "thank you". Instead, vocalize your gratitude and show appreciation for both small and big gestures. This includes hugs, kisses, acts of kindness, etc.

3. Focusing on flaws: Avoid focusing on the negative, annoying, or incorrect things your husband does. Obsessing over the negative will only make you unhappy and miserable which will impact your behavior which will only make him unhappy and miserable. Instead, find the positive. Find the things to be grateful for.

4. Expecting help without asking: Avoid assuming your husband should automatically meet your needs without appreciating when they do. Communicate and express what you need and desire.

5. Comparing to others: Never compare your husband to someone else and don’t compare your marriage either. Mentally or verbally comparing your husband to other women’s husbands diminishes his efforts and qualities.

6. Not acknowledging personal growth: Avoid not recognizing or valuing his growth and the improvements that he has made over time. Instead, praise him and encourage him as you acknowledge his growth and progress.

7. Lack of empathy for hard days: Avoid not appreciating when your husband is stressed or tired. Don’t expect him to keep going without acknowledging his emotional or physical struggles. When you see he is having a hard day or season in life, show him grace and empathy and do what you can to make things easier for him.

8. Withholding compliments: Avoid neglecting to compliment or show admiration for your husband’s appearance, character, or hard work. Show him respect and appreciation. Withholding these things is neglectful of your man and marriage. Tend to them well.

9. Undervaluing quality time: Avoid not cherishing the moments spent together. Treat time with your husband as special and valuable and something to be thankful for. Don’t treat it as routine. 

How to Avoid These Mistakes

• If you need to vent about your husband, take it to the Lord in prayer before anything else. Take any issues or concerns you have to God.
• Encourage open communication. Instead of talking to others behind his back, talk to your husband. Be sure to communicate your concerns in a respectful way.
• Commit to unity and teamwork with your husband. You are a team. Work together. Don’t fight against your husband. You have a common goal with your husband to advance the kingdom of God.
• Decide on wise counsel that you and your husband agree upon. These will be the people you both can talk to when you are experiencing challenging seasons. Try to get counsel together so that you are receiving the same information together.
• Praise your husband and make him look good in private and in public around others. Find the good in your husband in and your marriage.
• Be appreciative and kind. Treat him the way you want to be treated. Look for ways to be a blessing to him. Your job as his wife is to be his help meet. Help him and make his life better.
• Reflect on your beautiful beginnings and the good times you’ve experienced. Remember your wedding day, honeymoon, and other special times you shared together.