You may have heard it many times before: men need respect. But how does a wife respect her husband? What if he isn’t behaving in a way that is deserving of respect? What if respecting your husband is hard? What if he isn’t loving you the way you need to be loved? How can you respect him? I have 3 amazing tips to share with you that will make it easier to live by the biblical command, “Wives Respect Your Husband”.

Men Need Respect Like Women Need Love

Women are innately designed to desire and need to be loved. After all, in the beginning, Eve was created for Adam. The woman was created for the man. (1 Corinthians 11:9) 

Just as we have an innate desire to be loved, men have an inherent desire to be respected. Clearly, men and women are wired differently. It is our responsibility as wives to understand that our husbands need to be respected just as much as we need to be loved.

Naturally, we may try to love our husbands the same way we receive love best. However, it is important to remember that loving him the way that we need will not meet his needs completely because he needs love differently.

It makes me think about children. All children need food. However, the way a newborn receives food is different than the way a 5-year-old best receives food. They both need it, but the newborn best receives food by breast or even bottle.

 The 5-year-old can feed themselves a variety of solid foods. While the 5-year-old may drink milk, the milk alone will not completely meet her needs because she needs food in a different way.

The best way that we can love our husbands is by respecting them. This is why we are biblically mandated to respect our husbands. 

So again I say, each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband. Ephesians 5:33 NLT

How Should Wives Respect Their Husbands?

Wives can show respect to their husbands in a variety of ways. Respect is communicated with words and actions. Here are some ways that you can demonstrate respect for your husband:

Be present 

In some instances, he may not even want or need to talk. He may simply just want to be with you. If your presence alone does that job, that’s okay. If he wants to talk or do something, that’s okay too. Every man is different, and every day is different. Be flexible and, either way, be present.

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Do What He Enjoys

Your husband values your friendship. As his wife, you have the opportunity to be his best friend. If this is the case, he will want to be side by side and shoulder to shoulder with you. He would love to engage in his favorite hobby or activity with you. 

Ask for His Advice and Follow It

Men are problem solvers. When you ask him for his advice before making a decision, it shows him that you respect and value his opinion and wisdom. Bonus points if you actually take heed to his advice!

Compliment and Praise Him Publicly and Privately

Tell him how incredible he is. Remember the things about him that you fell in love with. Think about the things you love about him right now. Tell him! Do this in your alone time together AND compliment him in front of family, friends, and co-workers.

Hold Your Tongue

When you have disrespectful, unkind, or harsh words to say to your husband, hold your tongue. If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all. Yes, this rule still applies in adulthood, and it can prevent a lot of unnecessary disagreements.

RELATED: How to Communicate Effectively with Your Husband

Write Him a Respect Note

This is a great idea from Dr. Emerson Eggerichs in Love and Respect! Instead of writing your husband and love note, write him a respect note. Tell him the things that you respect about him. It can work wonders in your marriage!

Don’t Withhold Intimacy

Don’t withhold sex as a punishment. Intimacy with your husband is a way that you can respect him. A wife should not withhold sex because she is angry or because her husband isn’t doing what she wants him to do.

RELATED: How to Have a Happy Marriage

3 Incredible Tips for “Wives Respect Your Husband”

Respect Your Husband Out of Obedience to God

We should respect our husbands simply because God says to. As mentioned above, wives are biblically mandated to respect their husbands. If nothing else, we should demonstrate respect for our husbands because we want to please God.

Essentially, it’s not about your husband. It’s about you and your relationship with God. Obedience is key. God didn’t give stipulations or exceptions. The Bible clearly says, “wives respect your husbands”.

So again I say, each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband. Ephesians 5:33 NLT

Wives Respect Your Husband As Unto the Lord

Respecting your husband is a lot easier when you have the right heart. In Colossians, we are instructed to do things as unto the Lord. I understand that your husband is not God, but it is important that you respect him as unto God. Respect him as you would respect the Lord. 

This applies to all areas of our lives. In all that we do, we do it for the Lord, rather than for people. 

Work willingly at whatever you do, as though you were working for the Lord rather than for people. Colossians 3:23 NLT

Remember, There Are Benefits to Respecting Your Husband

There are benefits that come with respecting your husband. One of the main benefits is to finally get out of the cycle of needs being unmet.

 What typically happens is that a woman feels unloved, so she disrespects her husband. The husband feels disrespected, so he withdraws love from his wife. This goes on and on with neither of them getting their needs met. 

When you respect your husband, you are taking that step out of the cycle! This is one of the benefits of respecting your husband. Maintaining a peaceful marriage, a happy home, and getting your needs met.

For some, it may take time for your husband to come around and meet your needs. While you are respecting your husband as unto the Lord and out of obedience to God, trust God to ensure that your needs get met. He will make sure you’re taken care of when you’re obedient to Him.

26For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her 

28 In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. For a man who loves his wife actually shows love for himself. Ephesians 5:26,28

How to Respect Your Husband Even When You Feel He Doesn’t Deserve It?

This is a valid question. There may be instances when you feel that your husband doesn’t deserve respect. We all fall short of the glory of God. (Romans 3:23) This means there may also be times when your husband may feel that you don’t deserve love.

These feelings do not justify disobedience to God. The best way to respect your husband, even when you feel that he doesn’t deserve respect, is to do it anyway. 

As mentioned above, respect him as unto the Lord because you want to be obedient to God. While the benefits should not be the sole purpose for demonstrating respect, understand that God will meet your needs when you follow His commands.