You wanna know the real reason why your toddler isn't listening to you, why you feel like you have to repeat yourself 500 times, and you wish that you could just give instructions one time and your kids would automatically listen to you. I'm going to tell you exactly what you can start doing today to train your children to hear you and follow directions the first time.

But you need to understand an important fact about your toddler first. If your toddler never listens to you until you're yelling or doesn't respond, no matter how many times you say it, that's because there is a deeper reason at this age. Their prefrontal cortex, right here in their brain, is immature, but it is rapidly developing.

This is the part of the brain that is responsible for impulse control and logical reasoning, as well as understanding consequences. They're still developing their language and their processing skills during the toddler years. So you're probably thinking, okay, great, Larissa, but how can I get my toddler to listen?

I know that's what you're thinking. So I'm gonna tell you, and by the way, I. I'm Larissa J, and here at Toddler Mom Diaries, I help moms like you raise obedient, well-behaved Jesus-loving toddlers using simple biblical parenting strategies. So if that interests you, then make sure that you subscribe and hit the bell down below so you know when the next video drops.

Since your toddler's brain is still developing, you've gotta do something that I learned to master when I spent 11 years as a classroom teacher. One year, I taught kindergarten, and during the first week of school, I wondered why I told the kids to clean up and get ready for lunch, but some of them were just sitting there while others ended up rolling on the floor and being silly and talking to each other.

And I'm like, I know. I just said, “Get ready for lunch.” But then it dawned on me, with kids, especially little ones, you have to explicitly teach them your expectations. You can't just assume that they know what to do or what you're saying. You gotta teach everything and repeat it multiple times. But here's what no one tells you.

There's a right way and a wrong way to teach them, and most of us are accidentally doing it the wrong way until we know better. Now, the benefit of being a Christian mom is that there is so much gold to be found in the Bible, like Proverbs 22:6, which says to “Train up a child in the way that he should go, and when he is old, he will not depart from it.”

This means that some training is involved. We see it again in Proverbs 1:8, which says, “My son, here are the instructions of your father, and do not forsake the law of your mother.” And that's just two verses. They both make it clear that teaching instruction and expectations are required when raising obedient children who actually listen.

Now that my youngest child is officially a toddler, here's what I've been doing to help him to grow. To be a good little listener, I explicitly teach him our expectations. This means that I clearly model, explain, and guide him step by step through a concept or skill that I want him to have. In the beginning, I would say something like, “Bring me your shoes, Judah.”

And do you think he brought those shoes? Naw, Chile! He did not. He would run off somewhere else or bring something I didn't ask for. So I started explicitly teaching him. I would get up and walk with him to the shoe rack and say, “Bring me your shoes, Judah”, and I would go with him to get his shoes and repeat my instructions.

“Bring me your shoes.” I would gently guide his little hands and repeat the instructions. “Bring Mommy your shoes.” And I'd make sure that we have the shoes. We take them back over to the couch where I was sitting, and then I hold out my hands. “Okay, bring me the shoes.” And when he hands me the shoes, then I give him praise and say, “Yay! Good job! You brought Mommy the shoes!”

 I do this over and over again each day until it clicks, and that is explicitly teaching. We must make our expectations clear and explicitly teach our children to see results. You can't just do it once. It takes multiple times of instruction, but once it does click, you are good to go.

Now I can tell him to bring me his shoes, and he brings them to me, but we worked to get there, and that's how it is with all children.

Now, I created something just for you, mama. It is a free guide called Raising Obedient Toddlers: Swap these Common Mistakes for Biblical Wisdom. If you've ever felt like your toddler just doesn't listen, or you're stuck saying the same things over and over without getting results.

Then this is going to help you to correct with calm and teach with purpose and speak life into their little hearts, God's way. But what if your toddler still doesn't obey even when you're doing all the biblical things and staying calm, and teaching explicitly? Listen, you're not failing. In the next video, I'm sharing 7 surprising but common reasons why toddlers still resist and the biblical tools that can finally shift the atmosphere in your home. 

So don't forget to snag your free guide. It's so good! Trust me. And remember, mama, you are not just raising a toddler, you are shaping a soul. So keep going, God is with you!